American Version

 

When I saw this picture, I was not able to refrain from thinking of Chantal Goya’s song :

This morning,
a rabbit
kiiiiiilled a hunter
It was a rabbit
which had a rifle

But, here, it would be more about an American version

I imagine the clip, produced by James Cameron, directed by Clint Eastwood, music by ZZ TOP, lyrics by Fifty Cent.

Bullets whistle to the right and to the left, bodies burst or are propelled in the airs, the shouts, the smoke, the hullabaloo of explosions, this one looks for his arm, the other one holds his intestines avoiding that they fall, there is not red wine anymore and the hunting doesn’t take place as expected …

Then guitars begin to play with a sound of engine and our two heroes cervids spring in their jeep, a machine-gun in every hand, firing at all which moves and chewing some hay. For hunters the nightmare is only beginning.

This morning, man
Two fu**ing deers
butchered a lot of hunters, you know
they were two fu**ing deers
which had machine gun
and it was a fu**ing war, you know man

I have stereotypes about American people because I know them only by movies.
I think in particular that all that they make is disproportionate. It is disturbing and funny at the same time. In USA, everything is big, with American people, everything is possible.
Strike an American, even with an iron bar, and it will not bleed. Throw a pebble on his car, and it will certainly explode.

I don’t know if American people know Chantal Goya, but I think that her small rabbit which makes “pan-pan” is unsuitable for the American model.

OL

Times are bad

I notice that this period is very difficult for the students of M1 FLE. I think that we are all submerged by the work. It is for that reason that I propose you 3 methods to keep smiling.

First method: do it yourself

It is the simplest and the most economic method. You can practise it almost everywhere without accessory (avoid doing it when you drive or during a dinner). At the beginning, do not force too much and content yourselves with a small smile. Little by little, with the training you will be able to produce a smile so radiant as this follower of the practice.

The second method: use an accessory

This method is a little more complicated than the first one but it is very practical because it frees your hands (you can use it by driving but not during a meal or when you have a cold). As the first method, you will not reach at once the maximal result (the person presented here is a “quasi-pro” and has several years of training. He is my grandfather and those who know my supernan know why he is also strong). Begin with pieces of orange (or clementine, if you are really very depressed) then progress with your rhythm. You can also practise the first technique at the same time or to warm you. It will also be necessary to lead you to breathe well by the nose.

The third method: be helped by a professional

This method will be more expensive than two others but the results can be spectacular (if you do not meet a quack who demolishes your face). With this method, and a little of luck, you can obtain a PERMANENT SMILE, day and night. However I warn you that a lot of persons having practised this method complained about perverse effects as regards social relationships. There is more than one social situation where the smile is unwanted. I let you guess!

OL

Valentine’s Day

My first English poem

Must you leave so soon ?
Do you know that, as it stands,
I can catch the moon
and put it into your hands ?

I’m a poor sparrow
numbed with cold
so don’t leave me now,
your smile is gold

Red poppy you are
Butterfly I am,
It’s a stroke of fate

You’re really too far
Grasshopper I am,
and it’s not too late

Don’t leave me so soon
Let’s go to the moon

OL

supernan

My grandmother is no spring chicken. She must be pushing eighty but she’s incredibly energetic. She is all the time in activity like a frisky young teeny-bopper. She makes a lot of sport and she always wants to seem cool, but be careful, she’s as ticklish as elastic.
Never say her, slap bang, that you take her for granted, otherwise she could scratch your eyes out and squeeze the juice out of your brain, like wink.
I say that because she recently has begun to learn karate; she’s self-taught, she works with books and internet, and I am afraid that her sources are not still approved and reliable.
Since she has developed a passion for the martial arts, she has transformed the house into a room of training. She took down family photos and stuck on the walls the posters of the great masters. She put punching-balls almost everywhere in the house and she hammers them by bawling every time she passes before. She bought boxing gloves, protections for shins and a lot of dangerous objects littering the floor everywhere.
My grandfather complains about it a lot. On Sunday, he told us, having tears in his eyes, that he didn’t get a wink of sleep all night because grandma worked her techniques of attack all night long by mewing or by pushing kiaï which made furniture tremble. But since she has mastered the basic techniques of fighting, she’s been wearing trousers and my grandfather is not up to scratch.
In fact, she begins to frighten all the family and they say that she became an animal which you should not stroke the wrong way. It’s a little bit true, look at the photo and you will see that she doesn’t train to laugh.
As for me, I take it in a funny way but, by moment, I realize that she’s all the same a little bit out of line.

 OL

Economic crisis

 

 

There was a time when I spent my days sleeping, eating, playing, eating and sleeping. It wasn’t by philosophy but simply because it’s my deep nature. By yawning, I observed the human beings of the house stirring and bustling about, accumulating the activities and exchanging, in their language, an incredible quantity of information. In spite of all my attentive observations, I have never understood the purpose of all this excitement. Any human being will tell you that it’s because my brain is reduced, but I think that it’s because that of the human beings is too much developed. But, as I have already said it, I’m not very philosophical, and I can make a mistake. In any case, reduced brain or not, I have well understood that for some time the human beings of the house began to change behaviour. They gradually became more and more aggressive with me when I pinched the ham or when I tore sofas and curtains. The contents of the mess tins of all the family, including mine and that of the dog, became smaller and smaller. Even the dog began to become aggressive when I pinched its croquettes and he gradually became my enemy. I was a little bit sad all the same when the human beings ate it, all the more because they left nothing to me. I have well understood that my nonchalance was going to have to cohabit with a minimum of stress. But I was far from imagining that the human being can become so cruel when his mess tin decreases. Imagine my surprise when, one morning, while I came back from a roof party, I found in my mess tin a message which said:  « from now on, you work or you starve and die  » !!!??? It has been now quite a lot of time since I trail these f**king full of coal buckets which I have to go to pinch at the neighbour’s, and I begin to understand what  « win one’s croquette » means.

OL

last post?

This will probably be my last post, the first one without any picture. But, did you see, I made the snow fall for you, just become it’s Christmas (and because someone told me how to do it… 🙂 )
So this is a real winter, right? A cold and snowy one. I love the snow, but the thing is I hate it when I have to drive. My little twingo is like a top, my wheels like ice-skates and believe me, it’s scary! Anyway…
Holidays. I’ve been waiting for them for a long long time. We will have a white Christmas, and I should be happy, but there’s something like sadness instead.
Holidays mean the end of the one and only semester we shared with the M2 group. And I have to say that it was wonderful, we were just 10, we had great times, stressed ones, crazy ones. We are friends now, and it’s already time to leave and fly to different places. I am getting far too sentimental…
Guys, this is a love letter. No, i’m joking.
This post is about the fear. We are often scared when things are changing, we are always trying to keep them unchanged, even when we’re excited by the newness of the situation.
Now that I have to leave, again, to Manchester, I’m quite scared. What if it was a disaster, this time? What if I don’t bear the distance (even if it’s not this far away)? It’s so comfortable here, soft and warm: it’s my place, I know everything, everyone, every place. Going away is like leaping, eyes closed, into the unknown.
And leaving is sometimes linked to regrets. I wish I enjoyed more the moments we shared. I wish I had you for dinner, guys. I wish we were almost but not really totally drunk together, Buzz (sorry for the politically correct!).
This will be my last post, during my last year, my last student Christmas. And the placement in Manchester symbolizes the last step before the big jump, before the adult life. Boo, how scary it is…
Don’t believe I’m a real coward: I can’t wait to go back there and discover new things, new friends, and I’ve been couting down days for more than a month!
The question is: Am I the only one being so complicated and full of contradictions, or is it a human being characteristic?

It was nice to share these strange questions with you… Thanks for your comments and participation, sorry I didn’t write more, but maybe I’ll try to come back and give you some news! (I said « maybe »!!! )
Have snowy and beautiful holidays, with lots of presents and food (mmmmm, foie gras, here I come!)

Camille

Because it makes me feel happy…

I love this picture. Looks like me, depressed, pathetic (ok not in a bad way, just overbooked, and I hate homeworks!). In a way, I find the picture ridiculous, and it makes me wants to laugh. It reminds me when I was a little girl: I was the sulking world champion, with almost the same face (and please don’t laugh, if you’re nice, I’ll show you this famous picture of a poooor little girl…)

This picture is supposed to make us feel sad, maybe, but eventually I’m not sure: the bag on the head thing, the childish drawing… It makes me think of a nice-but-quite-impossible-to-follow state of mind: lots of people just say that we should never takes things too seriously. Ok, but honestly, if I don’t, who will? I mean, sometimes, even a little thing becomes huge if you’re sad, mad, tired, if you don’t have the time to stand back, and you have to care about it, you don’t have any choice.

So what if this picture wanted to tell us that we should take that time? I guess I’d just answer: « ok, I’ll tae the time, but would you please, poor little man in a childish bag, do my homeworks? ».

This is a message to the M1: the M2 year is wonderful, it really is. Interesting, challenging, and so on. But if you want to do it, and you should do it, just remember that one day or another, someone will lok at you and think that you have a little funny sad face. And remember that whatever happens, you should try to think of the daily moment of happiness. Just like: today I woke up and I felt rested. Miracles happen.

Camille

Birdie

Contrary to the soaring sumo, here, the sensation of lightness don’t come to the spirit.

It is not a question of stoutness;  the one has to envy nothing to the other one.

It is not because of the posture because that of this sir is much more birdlike than that of the sumo.

It cannot be due to an anticipation of the action because here the end is sweeter.

The clothing holding is quite as minimalist as that of the sumo, and I don’t think that a T-shirt make the difference.

Then, what ?

I think that it is an effect of shot ;  the observer feels down and, by a mechanism of instinct of survival, begins making realistic calculations. But it is only an hypothesis.

Special flash dedication

Here is !   It is made !

… But people continue to throw me stones !